Teach them that obedience is for their good. Many people come to a group believing that obedience is something God requires for his benefit, not theirs. Help members see that obedience brings blessings to us. You might say, “I think that our meeting here is one of the ways we obey God, and that there is a reason that this is good for us. What sorts of goals and expectations do you have about embarking on this obedience?”
Help them see that obedience involves the inside. Obedience involves both behaviors and heart. Your members can really help each other with both sides of the equation. One person may say, “Randy, when you brought up your drinking problem, you were really concerned that it is wrong and a sin. However, you never mentioned how you feel about it, what you think might be causing it, or why you haven’t brought it up to us until now. I think we want to know that part of you as well.”
Help them see that obedience involves the external as well. By contrast, you might say in another situation, “Sandra has brought up that she is in an emotional affair, but since it’s not physical, she thinks it’s okay. I don’t agree with that opinion, and I would like other members’ feedback here.”
Cloud, H., & Townsend, J. (2010). Making small groups work: what every small group leader needs to know. Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan.