Questions are
ready-to-use, out-of-the box lessons. Footnotes are explanations to you as
to what I am getting at. They are NOT to be read to class, unless you think
I say something brilliant. This is not likely to happen.
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Questions in bold are to be read just
before you read the passage. It is always a good idea to give the group
something to look for as you read.
Introduction
By way of introduction, I'd like to ask you to open the book of Proverbs to
the chapter that corresponds to one day after the day of
the month you were born. Look for any verses that speak to friendship. Share
with the group what you find.(1)
Value Your Friends
Proverbs 10:12; 17:17; 18:24
As
we read these three passages, look for qualities of great friends. Share
with the group what you find.
Verse 10:12 says love covers
all wrong. Can anyone share an example of an offense that was easy to
overlook because you loved someone. Perhaps an example of when you were
"young and in love."
What does it mean, "A brother is born for
adversity."
Does Proverbs 18:24 teach against having lots of
friends? What is it saying?
Something to think about: How many
friends do you have that you could call on in times of adversity? Are
you OK with the answer to that question?
Avoid Gossiping and Quarreling
Proverbs 16:28; 26:21
Anyone
ever been the victim of a nasty rumor? If you can, tell us your story.
Does it seem to
you that some people like to quarrel? What joy could derive out of
quarreling?
Why do you think God is opposed to quarreling? What is
so awful about it?
What is the difference between a quarrel and
necessary and honest difference of opinion?(3)
How do you change from a quarrelsome person to a peacemaker?(4)
On a scale of one to ten, where would you rate yourself where one is a
quarrelsome person and ten is a peacemaker? Don't answer out loud. Is this
an area you could stand to see some improvement in?
Act With Integrity
Proverbs 3:28 - 30; 25:9; 27:10a
As we read these verses, let's make a list on the board of relational sins
that are mentioned in these verses.(5)
Which one of things on this list especially irritates you? Can you give a
real life example?
Why do people do these things that are so
irritating? Why aren't people normal, like us? Why the attraction of telling
your neighbor to come back tomorrow, of accusing a man for no reason, and so
on?
Now, let's look at the positive side. Help me write the opposite
of the sins we wrote on the board a moment ago. Positively, what does 3:28
teach that we should do?(6)
How do we become people of the right column rather than people of the left?(7)
Resolve Conflicts Wisely
Proverbs 14:9; 19:11; 29:11
As we read these three verses, pick one that relates to you life, or one
that you could put to work in your life this week.
People
sometimes talk about the need to, "Get something off their chest," or "blow
off steam." Is this health?. See 29.11
How does wisdom give a person
patience? Can you give an example?
Compare Proverbs 19:11 with I
Corinthians 5:11- 13.(8)
When is it our job to overlook a fault and when is it our job to confront?
Summary/ Application
Let's close with some summary questions on
relationships.
What are some of the biggest relational mistakes people in your world make?
If you could improve your relational skills in one way, how would that be?
1. You might follow up from last week by asking if anyone has read the
Proverb of the week. This lite accountability is important to the disciple
making process. People have good intentions. We serve them well by reminding
them that there are thirty one chapters of Proverbs. This makes a nice daily
reading plan to read one chapter a day that corresponds to the day of the month.
2. This is a point of common misunderstanding with believers. Many will say,
all sins are a like. This is true in the sense that any sin will separate us
from God. However, I would rather you gossip about me than kill me. In this
sense, gossip is not as bad as murder.
3. Much of it
has to do with motive. If my intent is to destroy someone with agreement, that
is quarreling. If I just don't care whether I destroy someone with my words,
that is sin too. There must be a place, however, for the honest exchange of
ideas and feelings. To some, "Don't argue," means, "Get in line with my
opinion."
4. Perhaps the biggest step is admitting.
Most people who are quarrelsome don't realize it or won't admit it. Being
quarrelsome comes from something deep within. It is rooted in an unresolved
bitterness or anger. We must resolve the "root of bitterness." Counting to ten
simply puts a patch on an old tire. What we need is new tires.
5. Put them on one side of the board; we will put the positive opposites on
the other side.
7. Here are some answers that are not right: try hard and just do better. If
we could try hard and do better, we wouldn't need the cross. Another answer that
is not quite right is, "Let go and let God." Total passivity is not right
either. Walking by faith is both a trusting dynamic and a doing dynamic. The
goal of all of teaching is to provide a clear answer to this question.
8. I Corinthians 5:11- 13 But now I am writing you that you must not
associate with anyone who calls himself a brother but is sexually immoral or
greedy, an idolater or a slanderer, a drunkard or a swindler. With such a man do
not even eat. What business is it of mine to judge those outside the church? Are
you not to judge those inside? God will judge those outside. "Expel the wicked
man from among you."
9. One of the top predictors of
your usefulness to God is your people skills.
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