The quality of life is largely dependent on the quality of our relationships. If we have a good life, it means we have good relationships. If we have had a hard life it normally means we have struggled with relationships. We had a father who abandoned us or a husband who neglected us or kids that drove us crazy.
This is what Paul says in 1 Corinthians 13:1. To paraphrase, he says, “If I have all kinds of things going for me and have great success as a preacher, but am not loved, I have nothing.” This is what James had in mind when he wrote these words:
What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? You want something but don’t get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight. You do not have, because you do not ask God.  When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures. James 4:1-3
This is a classic case of winning the battle and losing the war. You win the battle to get the stuff you want. You lose a friend in the process. You lose. You really lose. Relationships are more important than just about anything.
Josh Hunt. (2000). Enjoying God. Josh Hunt.
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