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25 Ways to Win with People, Lesson #13

by John Maxwell and Les Parrott, PH.D.

Good Questions by Josh Hunt

These kind of questions (except with more Bible verses!) are available every week for you to use during your Bible study time. Lessons correspond with three of Lifeway's series. I have been doing this for years and more than 2000 lesson are available with new ones added each week. See www.joshhunt.com/sunday-school.htm for details.


Keep your eyes off the mirror.

  1. Let's start with a little Bible study. What do all these verse have in common? Psalm 119:35 Psalm 119:36 Proverbs 18:1 Galatians 5:19 - 21 Philippians 1:17 Philippians 2:4 James 3:16 (1)
  2. What are some biblical examples of people who were or were not selfish?
  3. Is selfishness in our self-interest? (2)
  4. If selfishness is not in our self-interest, why are we tempted to be selfish? (3)
  5. What are some examples you see in day to day lives of the tendency for people to believe that we are the center of the universe?
  6. How does selfishness hurt relationships?
  7. Has your selfishness hurt your relationships? How so? Who has a story? (4)
  8. In what way have you been able to become a little less selfish? How have you been able to reign in on your own tendency to be selfish? (5)
  9. To paraphrase a quote on the top of page 88, "Success in life is about what you do for others." Is this the common view of success?
  10. Is it possible to be successful [rightly understood] and selfish? Why or why not?
  11. How does focusing on others give you energy? Be specific, personal and practical.
  12. How can focusing on others give you a sense of contentment?
  13. What is meant by the term "ultraself"?
  14. How can we pray for one another this week?
  15. What do you want to remember from this chapter?

1. Direct me in the path of your commands, for there I find delight. Turn my heart toward your statutes and not toward selfish gain. Psalm 119:35 - 36 (NIV)

An unfriendly man pursues selfish ends; he defies all sound judgment. Proverbs 18:1 (NIV)

The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God. Galatians 5:19 - 21 (NIV)

The former preach Christ out of selfish ambition, not sincerely, supposing that they can stir up trouble for me while I am in chains. Philippians 1:17 (NIV)

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Philippians 2:4 (NIV)

But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. Such "wisdom" does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, of the devil. For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice. James 3:16 (NIV)

2. This gets into a odd twist of language, but no. The most selfish thing you can do (that is, the thing for your highest self-interest) is to be unselfish.

3. Selfishness only works for us in the short run. It is bad for us over the long haul.

4. If you want people to open up on a question like this, consider confessing your own sin. Talk about a time when you were selfish. I'd share one myself, but I can't think of any!! ;-)

5. Here, you might brag on someone else. If you can think of an example that someone in the room, or in your church that has done that was unselfish, it might help to open things up.



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